Amusements of an Ordinary Family

Full Circles

2012-01-13T15:59:00.002-06:00

Our move to Columbia, for me, has been about coming full circle. Its been quite a retrospective period of time and I am finding recently, that writing seems to be the best expression of the observations. I turned 50 too, so I guess thats a substantial ingredient in this recipe of retrospection.

This weeks thoughts have melded toward what is real and what is not real. I had a very wise pastor who once told me that in looking for purposeful, long-lasting relationships, that the key ingredient was to come to an understanding that no matter what and no matter who, you will be disappointed at some point in time. It cannot be avoided. How you deal with the disappointment is really what defines your character and integrity. Pastors/Shepherds can be very wise people sometimes!

Now, disappointment comes in all degrees. We are disappointed our children refuse to clean their rooms, or continue to eat in the living room when we remind them its against the rules. There are bigger disappointments, when children and friends make poor choices, that have consequences that cause them to struggle harder than is necessary and then we all know there are the big disappointments. In today's culture, some of those disappointments are automatic "deal breakers". We give up, walk away and don't look back.

Now be patient with me and follow my train of thought here. In my retrospection this week, I have thought about the Savior and his teaching us about forgiveness. More importantly, I have thought about Heavenly Father and as his child, how does he handle me when I have really disappointed him? Does he walk away from, give up and never look back? OR, does he counsel me on my err, (reprove with sharpness) and then put his arms around me and (or sometimes in the form of those we have even disappointed) and show an increase in love. It is only when we walk away from our Father in Heaven that we run into bigger issues.

Now, with that perspective on the ones that disappoint, its also a perspective on what we can do as the disappointed ones. If those we care for, our friends, children, loved ones, disappoint us, even with deep disappointment, its our responsibility to pattern our response after the Father. Reprove with sharpness (clarity) - that means boundaries, honesty all done with as much grace and graciousness as one can muster. Then, as we work together as families and friends, show the increase of love that is needed to reach the other side and rejoice in goodness and mercy!

Some disappointments take longer than others. Patience is needed. But love, hope, and faith, these three, can change both the one who has disappointed us and those who have been disappointed.

The Time Has Come...

2011-10-17T09:58:00.000-05:00

Tom is out of school and has found a new and hopefully, long-lasting job with IBM. We are relocating one last time back to, of all places, Columbia Missouri.

Tom is already down there and loving it. I am still here in Wisconsin, packing up a house and riding the ever so steep and rocky wave called home purchasing. That process, in and of itself, could be a blog post and maybe when its all said and done, I can relieve it more humorously. Right now, I have to say, that its worse than haggling over a car, and we all know how much I hate that! The negotiating part will be over in the next few days. If we survive that and continue on, then we close Nov 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving. Ill take a new home as my birthday, anniversary, Christmas present - for sure!

For now, I pack boxes, clean a house, wade through a half century of collected stuff, blog, do homework, and walk a daughter through planning a wedding AND miss my family. I will have had enough alone time to last me for awhile, so we can look on it with that positiveness!!

I will forever Bucky - but it is great to be back in Tiger country!

I can only imagine

2011-06-28T20:12:00.000-05:00

I have been having weird dreams lately. Those odd ones that you just cant let go of? The ones that are riddled with twisted reality, but then seem to hold a nugget of truth to help you figure out a problem. Those kind. I guess the one from this morning had me thrashing about so, that it woke up Tom. In return for waking him in the wee hours of sunrise, we were able to have one of those lazy Saturday morning talks, in the middle of the week. Life has gotten away from us, with all the commotion that lazy morning talks have happened less and less. But back to the subject at hand, the dream….what resulted was his contributing perspective to the series of dreams and being able to come to an understanding that I wouldn’t have had (or it would have taken me longer and more animated dreams on my own) without his input.

So, the day wears on and on facebook, I notice a link to a Wynonna performance of my favorite contemporary Christian song, “I Can Only Imagine”. This woman must have been sharing a wave length with me.

One adaptation to her message – not broken, but broken wide open….

I can only imagine... and oh how that fills my soul!

Scanning Old Photos

2011-06-25T13:43:00.000-05:00

I am not one to promote a product, especially in this environment, but.... there is always a first!

Like you, I have countless boxes of photos, all taken before the digital age (and usually developed getting duplicate copies, remember that? ) I have wanted to scan these little creatures for years, but the idea of lugging my flatbed scanner to my desk, then having to open the top, put the picture on the bed, make sure its in the exact location, resetting the configuration every time I have a different size photo. Then, once they are scanned, having to crop and adjust and so on and so on and so on...so they have stayed in their boxes, waiting for the specific scrapbook project or retirement, which ever came first.

Then, I came across this.... The Kodak P460 personal photo scanner. This morning, I went through an entire box of old photos (it comes with this great sleeve to help with old photos that are deteriorating or curled....) in about an hour. An HOUR! My Ancestry.com page and my Family Tree Maker will be very happy!

Can I say...yipee!!!

A "Baby" is Born

2011-05-22T12:43:00.002-05:00

www.pluckyhousewives.blogspot.com

I am in the throws of bringing a new baby to life and it feels odd. Those of you who read this know that I have finally started something I have talked about for years. Fifteen years ago it was first in the form of a cookbook, compiling all those recipes I took from my mom and then all the others that I collected from a plethora of sources and experiences. I wanted to compile it and then give it to my children as they embarked on their life journey. Somehow though, it was always more than just about the passing on of recipes. I wanted to include the stories; the memories, some of mine, some of my mother’s, and even some of theirs. I wanted to chronicle life; average, normal, wonderful life in the traditions and flavors of the food passed down and passed on.

Over the years, I assembled it all into two large binders (I need a third and fourth now). Recipes put into protective plastic sheets that could be wiped off cause we all know I am a messy cook! I talked about putting it all together into something that resembled a clever homemade cookbook, but life just always got away from me. I was busy being a mom (adding to the already large quantity of recipes) so the idea sat in the proofer for a few years.

When I met Hawley in 2008, I started to pull the batch of ideas out to knead and shape. I remember clearly the day I first came to visit her in Milwaukee. She was making lunch for Tom, Bill and I and she pulled out her recipes. Here came several large black three-ring binders with all the recipes in plastic sheets to protect them. I laughed. We really were sisters separated at birth! I knew she was an essential key ingredient. You see, she too had collected and kept all of her recipes as well, and had wonderful insights and stories to tell about each one of them. That is our key ingredient. It hasn’t ever been just about the food. The food was, is, and will always be, the vehicle to the memory, the tradition, and the experience with those that we want to share with.

Hawley, Jenni, Tom and Bill

Only a few years ago did I realize that my mother showed her love for us by sharing her passion with us. She loved food. Not just the eating of the food, but the preparation, the exploration, and the skill. She loved gardening, growing her own food. She knew where it came from. She loved processing her own food. Can I tell you the number of quarts of tomatoes I personally canned prior to the age of 17! Or the chickens plucked and dressed; or the zucchini and tomatoes, the strawberry freezer jam, peach freezer jam, peach/blueberry pie mix, corn, beans, and so on and so on. She made bread every week until we were mostly out of the house and she was forever collecting recipes and then changing them. It was her passion. We share our passions with those we love and she certainly shared hers with her family and countless others.

Hawley and Jenni

The Plucky Housewives has now been born. It’s a tiny little infant that is growing quickly. As any new mother, its scary. It is our passion and it does bring joy to our lives. We are telling our stories and memories, making good food and to top it all off, Tom gets to fulfill his passion for photography by volunteering his services as our food photographer. Everything you see has been made by us and photographed by Tom. So, when you are in the neighborhood (especially on a Friday through a Monday, stop by. We have PLENTY of food to share!

Tom Graduated!

2011-05-18T18:07:00.000-05:00

After he got his "fake" diploma!

What can we say - It was a good day. He has a little bit of cleanup work to do, but for the most part, its done. Hip Hip Hooray!

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2011-05-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

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Plucky has begun!

2011-05-04T16:29:00.002-05:00

Come join us at The Plucky Housewives

Easter 2011

2011-04-28T11:55:00.000-05:00

Elijah

Family is so much more than those who share parents, grandparents, siblings and cousins. Family reaches beyond blood lines and genetics and reaches into the hearts and souls of all who are connected in love and compassion.

Forrest and Oakley

We shared Easter this year with our “family” and I have to say, despite coming down with a fever midway through dinner, it was one of the more splendid Easters I have ever had. I had to go hide and take a lie down for a short while and as I was resting and listening to the sounds in and out of the house, the thought floated in that if anyone had been passing by our home, they could easily assume that the day was being shared with cousins, aunts, uncles, brother and sisters. Then I thought, brothers and sisters? Is that not what we chose to call each other as fellow Saints?

Terrell and Myra

The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us that all of us are children of our great and glorious Father in Heaven. We are all brothers and sisters. I have so casually flung those titles out over the years, but it was today, of all days, with my home filled with loved ones, that I realized we are all truly brothers and sisters.

Jeremiah, Kaiser and Hayden

Kin. I feel very blessed. I feel very surrounded.

I do not feel so alone.

Issaka and Amanda

Thank you all for sharing the day of our Saviors resurrection and sharing your Christ-like love with us all throughout the year.

England 2011

2011-04-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

69 The Grove
www.69thegrove.com

Tom and I were able to spend 12 days in England this April. It was my first time out of the US and have to say it was a wonderful experience. Instead of giving a play by play of the events, I just wanted to comment on the most amazing people that we met along the way. We were able to stay in some lovely B&B's. In London, we stayed at 69The Grove. It is in the Vauxhall neighborhood, just south and over the Thames from Central London. Our hosts, Kanley (originally from Kingston Jamaica) and David (originally from Madrid Spain) were an absolute delight. Kanley is a Methodist minister and our mornings around the breakfast table were a wonderful celebration of thanks! In addition, we were able to meet people from all over the world (Finland, Switzerland, Canada, Japan, France and Vermont), all visiting for a variety of reasons. We met and had lunch with a lovely couple from Brazil, talked with young people from France and chatted with a few smattering of native Londoners, as we safaried through the streets and neighborhoods of London.

Tilbury Lodge
Oxford UK
www.tilburylodge.com

From London, we traveled to Oxford, where our hosts Stephan (a native South African) and Melanie (a native of Oxford) welcomed us to their home with comfort, humor and great recommendations. Oxford, for me, was a place that grabbed at my heart. Its like Madison on history steroids and a tad less reactionary. I was in awe of everything around me and marveled at how 1000 year old relics stand side by side with modernity. There was a church choir rehearsing for its Easter services and even though I could not find the entrance into the cathedral, I could stand outside and listen to this incredible music wafting through the evening air. It seemed so right, and also very surreal. We just happened to stumble on Oxford at the start of its annual Literary Festival (talk about lucky!) so it was alive with such a mix of people from all around England and other parts of the globe. It was rainy so my dreams of a boat ride were dashed, but not to complain, since everything else we did was enchanting.

Grayingham Lodge
Northorpe Lincolnshire UK
www.grayinghamlodge.co.uk

After reluctantly leaving Oxford, we headed north to Lincolnshire and a small B&B in Northorpe called Grayingham Lodge. It is a 200 year old working sheep farm, that has been in the same family all those years. They were in the middle of lambing season, which made for quite the table talk. Our hosts, Jane and Peter became fast friends and we delighted in hearing the history of Grayingham Farm. Since the purpose for our visit to this less frequented by tourist part of England was a bit of a pilgrimage back to my roots, we had wonderful discussions about life in Lincolnshire at the time my relatives were still present. Turns out the line I was researching just had a family reunion of some 250 decedents of the Ward line in Lincolnshire. We were able to walk the streets of my ancestors, visit the church where many generations were married, christened and buried and experience modern life in the small market town of Louth. Their homes still stand, most of which the exterior is unchanged and talked with locals whose families had been there as long, if not longer than my family. Their gggrandfathers were peers and possibly friends of mine. That sense of belonging and connection to history is a feeling that many of us here in the US have a difficult time connecting with. I was sad to leave this town of rolling hills and rivers and forests and truly lovely people.

Britten House
Lowestoft Suffolk UK
www.brittenhouse.co.uk

We then traveled to the cost of Suffolk, Lowestoft and spent our final days in England at the seaside. This B&B was the childhood home and place of birth for the composer Benjamin Britten. The weather was wonderful, the sun shone all but one day and the temperature was perfect.

No matter where we traveled, whether it was to walk the ruins of castles of our ancestors, or to put our feet in the sand of a sunny beach area, the people we met along the way added to the beauty of England. I must admit that I long for the day when I can see again, wild daffodils blooming on the side of an English country roadside.

We feel very blessed that we were able to have such enriching experiences both history and with the people of England.

We are almost there!

2011-03-16T19:40:00.002-05:00

We are getting the graphic work done and all the ducks lined up in a row...

Here is a sneak peak, just to wet your palate! We are excited!

pluckyhousewives.com goes live June 1st 2011

pluckyhousewives.net goes live May 1st 2011.

The State of Wisconsin, the state of our future.

2011-03-06T23:05:00.001-06:00

It is very difficult to sit by and watch people you love and care about fall victim to the dishonest practices of men out of an altruistic idea that a worldly political leader can actual bring about change that is best for all.

We live in an age where politics on all fronts is horrendously riddled with partisanship, paybacks, kickbacks, and millions and millions of dollars that buy the power of others. To think otherwise, no matter what side of the fence you are on, may be a tad naive. I can count myself as one of the victims.

I have lived through many a political season. I was born during “Camelot”, saw the rise and fall of Richard Nixon. As a teenager, I felt the impact of the fall of a president and the stumbling of a vice president trying to heal a public that would never again be trusting of their leadership. I watched as an honest and true politician tried to make change for good, instead failing because compromise was not an option, only to then become the world’s most formidable moderator (yes, we are speaking of peanut farmer Jimmy Carter). He went on to establish one of America’s most altruistic and successful nonprofits and an international policy institute that today, is called on to help solve the most tense of political climates. I was a young adult, newly married and having children when The Great Communicator was elected and served his two terms as president. He was generally a good leader and ended the cold war, but with 20/20 hindsight, we have been able to see that economically we stumbled. Bush 1 brought us 1000 points of light and called on us to serve our communities but started a war that was fueled more by greed and control than the altruistic ideology of saving a country from invasion. I was a military wife during this time and had a front-row seat to the repercussions of a political decision involving money, not freedom. From there, we moved into the area of a suave and morally unscrupulous man but who was a great administrator. Pres. Clinton’s two terms saw us through a boom period and he left office, handing over to his predecessor, for the first time in 4 administrations, a surplus. He had shown that despite his personal failings, he could coordinate a government that could operate within a budget and take care of its citizens. Unfortunately Bush II did not possess the same agenda. His presidency was marred with conflict, egregious spending, arrogance, and a lack of accountability to those who elected him.

Throughout my life I have watched as more and more politicians entered the arena of public service, not out of a desire to help and serve their fellow man, but out of a quest for power, attention and the spotlight. As a public, previously, we looked not only at what a person said, but how they behaved in their life before politics to help us determine whether they could be trusted as a leader and in their role to serve us, the citizens, who pay for their positions. Were they honest, successful businessmen, leaders in the community or church? Did they answer questions directly, honestly? Could there answers be put to the test; in other words, were their past actions demonstrative of the solutions and answers they provided to the public? Did they say what they mean and mean what they say? Were they interested in John Brown who lived at 111 Main St, as much as they were interested in Jack Jones, owner of the worlds largest widget company who was thinking about opening a plant in Anywhere, USA?

I think my parents may recall knowing a few local politicians that were like that. As a high school student, I had an opportunity to meet then Governor, Lee Dreyfus. He was a moderate, who often referred to himself as a Republicrat. (He ran and won as a candidate for the Republican party). He was a kind, honest, truthful man, who ran his campaign out of an old red-painted school bus. He was not beholding to anyone. He set a precedent for me as to what to look for in a man/woman running for office. Now, some do not consider him a “successful” governor. Like Jimmy Carter (coincidentally President of the US at the same time), he was operating under difficult conditions, not much different that those we are seeing today. For me, it was not about whether he was able to accomplish everything he set out, or make us oober-prosperous, it was about his character. How did he treat his fellow citizen of Wisconsin? Who or what was he beholding too? Was he in anyone’s “pocket”? Nope. He never really desired to be a politician and to make a career of it; nor did he seek to be a “national leader”. He wanted to use his great skills to help the state he truly loved. Some analysts may assess his governorship as being mediocre, but in 20/20 hindsight, one decision he made (to the chagrin of many naysayers) was the establishment of the UW School of Veterinary Medicine. When chastised that Wisconsin didn’t need any more veterinarians, Gov. Dreyfus replied, “This is not about veterinarians, this is about Research.” That foresight eventually resulted in a little known researcher named James Thomson, whose work in stem cells has been universally monumental.

Since then, I have not seen a politician in either party, at the state and national level, who was honestly interested serving his people, until Barack Obama. What do Barak Obama, Jimmy Carter and Lee Dreyfus have in common? I know some are scratching their heads. They were men who truly wanted to serve, wanted to help, wanted to change things, but ultimately were not allowed to succeed because the forces and powers (primarily money-based) against them, used their resources to focus on preventing their success, rather than coming together to find a workable solution.

We now live in a political climate where resources, money, and people are used to thwart the success of others instead of finding conciliatory, shared solutions that create strong cities, states and countries. Its like the old childhood adage, If I cant have it, then I wont let you have it either!” We look at one person’s possible success as a marker for our own failure and we do it at all cost. I have never seen so many blatant lies, untruth’s, misinformation and obvious corruption as I have seen in the past year, let alone 3 weeks. We have a man, elected by the minority of Wisconsin voters, but slight majority of voters who turned out that day, who in his brief 13 weeks in office has disregarded the adjudications of the court, is attempting to enact a bill that is in direct opposition to the Constitution of the State of Wisconsin, has been “outed” as being financially beholding to out-of-state corporate interests that do not seek to better Wisconsin, but only use its people and resources for its financial gain, and has acted in direct opposition to his campaign promises of his own personal frugality and fiscal responsibility.

Those in the state that elected him must accept their share of responsibility in this. His record of service as Milwaukee County Executive is marred with dishonesty, corruption and bias to special interests that funded his campaign. His own personal record prior to that public office raises some eyebrows as well. We can go back to his college days and find a pattern of behavior that reflects forward to present day issues. Instead of being objective, we were persuaded and enticed by the savvy media propaganda used by expert political campaign marketing specialists.

Gone are the days of the old schools buses, painted red and white and carrying candidates whose desire is to serve the people. In its place are slick ads, making promises that wont be honored, sponsored by political action committees established by corporate entities with a vested financial interest in one candidate winning who will further their agendas and corporate (or on the flip side, national union) goals. To believe that the people have a voice and a choice is quickly slipping away.

This “fight for Wisconsin” is not really about our state constitutional right to collective bargaining or public workers having to sacrifice their share in this economy; it is not about balancing our budget and making “Wisconsin open for business”. It is not really about the loss of health services to the poor, the elderly or the non-insured or about keeping our rivers and waterways clean or even saving feral dogs from being used as research. It is about standing up and telling those in the political arena that we will no longer stand for dishonest men in political office; that we will not tolerate deception and trickery. We no longer accept that the voice with the most money is the voice that is most valuable. We must work towards coming back together, working together, compromising and creatively sacrificing what is necessary when times are hard.

I believe that when we are honest with ourselves, that the majority of Americans, of Wisconsinites are not on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but share many of the same and desires. In order to come together, we must be honest and seek honesty in those who lead. It is our responsibility to hold those elected accountable and to stand up and say no, when we recognize the harm that will befall from decisions that are mandated instead of debated.

I still believe that there can be change. I still have hope that the few that seek office to really serve the people can be successful. I believe in each citizens intelligence and their ability to see through the conservative and liberal propaganda; to recognize what it the most compassionate and fiscally sensible way in which to care for our communities, our neighbors, our brothers, our sisters. I still believe that within all humans is the ability and desire to do good to each other.

Purposeful Living

2010-06-18T21:47:00.002-05:00

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in life's activities that we forget we are here not just to do, but to me, to experience life. I have heard many tell me that through these last few years of financial and personal struggle, sometimes life is just about "enduring". Everytime I heard that, I thought in my head, "yeah, yeah, right, right - you really dont know what to say". I know - attitude, its my Achilles. However, the thoughts still swam around in the liquid jello called my brain and the other day it all seemed to solidfy. Yes, there is the enduring part - but really its about purpose. I found my personal prayers switching from "help me to get through this" to "what is my purpose? I just want to have purpose?" Almost (literally) the second I made the switch in my thinking, the purpose presented itself. Now, I am sure that the purpose was lingering there all along, but I had done nothing to help realize it, make it possible, open myself up for it to embrace me. I was too much in myself to notice that there was something more than me ...

Dont get me wrong, its okay to have the woefulness, to feel our sorrow, to recognize that life has pummeled us with a whole truck load of lemons (WAY too many to make lemonaide). But we cant sit under the pile, tread water in mirk - its not physicially, emotionally or spiritually possible to do that. We drown in all those same ways. We get out of, sit on the side and breath for a moment, acknowledge that we have just pulled ourselves out of the worst junk possible. Then find the nearest shower, (I prefer a very long, very hot one) and step out in the cool breeze and look toward the purpose. It will be there, waiting for you, I promise.

The time has come...

2010-06-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

In a week, the last chick will have made the first leap out of the nest. He'll still have a few more milestones to cover before he takes off and soars in August, but the wings are strengthening and boy is the desire to leap ever so strong! I dont know whether to cover him with my wing or nudge him out with my beak. I guess it depends on the day. Today was a day I just wanted to cover him up and keep him in the nest, for just a little while longer.

Today, I also finished my first block of classes. They went very well and I know that I am on the right path. It keeps unfolding little by little. I sort of feel a little like the last chick - starting to see that someday I too may fly this particular nest of 24/7 motherhood. Its a little scary. As mom's we have put off, held back, stored in the closet, all the "selfish" dreams of our youth and now that there is the potential to have the time, effort and most importantly, the ENERGY to realize them, we're a little scared. Dreams are good - its the fruition of the dreams that takes some determination. I finally think I understand the old adage that "youth is wasted on the young" - its not necessarily the energy (or lack there of) - but the fearlessness. When you are young you are totally unaware of your fearlessness (it can easily evolve into recklessness - so be careful). A little older, a few life lessons and we hesitate. This time, there isnt a momma bird with a beak, poking over the edge, at least for most of us.

Today, I am grateful for my husband's nudge - its been a whole lot better than my mother's!

Career Change

2010-04-01T13:24:00.000-05:00

I have done it. Took the plunge, jumped off the cliff, escaped the looney bin, however you want to call it. Its done. Over. After 10+ years of working from home as a dedicated (sometimes overly dedicated to the point of work-aholic) medical transcriptionist, manager and editor, it has all come to an end. By choice, you ask? Sort of... Because of economic conditions? Sort of that too... Mainly, cause I am so over it! That was a little strong eh? Sorry. I just really am, very over it!

It served its beautiful purpose. When I started, I was a single mom with three small children, who needed mom to be around home more than at an office. It was ideal. I more than supported our little family off of my wages and I couldnt have asked for a better blessing. Now, they are all gone. Well, almost all gone. The "baby" graduates from HS in 2-1/2 months. He has his college plans all in order and has half of his 6'4" frame body out the door already. There is no longer a need to be at home full-time.

I went through the usual, what do I do with myself, thing. I could paint/draw all day. I could do genealogy until I had traced everyones roots back to Adam himself. I could sew. All are great, wonderful, nice, but I want to work! That sounds pretty wild huh? I DO! I want to do something productive, something creative, something enjoyable. Something that contributes.

So, I have changed paths, jumped the cliff, probably just went from one looney bin to another, but I think this looney bin is going to be a lot more enjoyable than the former!

Passing on a Blog I follow...

2010-03-30T08:35:00.000-05:00

I follow a wonderful LDS blogger from Las Vegas. She is a musician and a doctrinal whiz and has the wittiest sense of humor. Plus, her kids are basically the ages of my children and her adventures are so similar. I can laugh many times at what I immediately found to be the most irritating situation I had ever epxerienced as a mother.

Today, I stopped by her blog and her post was not the usual fun and witty essay. She wrote a very straightforward, very honest and yet expressive post on how she feels about some of the political commentary taking place in amongst ourselves in our places of worship - more importantly how we are treating others on the opposite sides of the political spectrum in our own community. Since I have been the recipient of, heard the same words spoken and felt the same indigation she expresses in her blog, I want to pass it on. You do not know what her political persuasion is (which is as it should be)... So please, if you read anything this year in the blogger world - read this.

http://thebackorderedlife.blogspot.com/2010/03/political-ranters-need-not-apply.html

Update on the Endings and Beginings

2010-03-10T08:04:00.000-06:00

So on the "I Promise to myself to do" list:
I have accomplished a few (without any hiccups, I might add):

2a - done. I was spurred on rather quickly by the announcement that Passport fees could go up and up and up…. They are already darn expensive. So we did it, out the door, on their way and before April 17, will have one in hand. YIPEE!

2b - done, or should I say on its way. The short crop is gone. A short angled bob in the interim to the long bob. More soccer momish than hippish, but I have relented!

3. In the planning stages. Now if the whole job issue thing would iron itself out, we could really get down to the nuts and bolts of planning!

5. I HAVE SO gotten over feeling bad!

On the "I Promist to Be Better At list:

1. This one is hard. I am averaging once a week, at best.

2. Emma done. Working on Sherlock Holmes. Does watching every Masterpiece Theatre available on DVD count????

5. Pretty good. Sugars still better than last year.

6. I am COMPLETELY unsuccessful at restrained eye rolling though. I give up!

By the way - haven’t had a cream puff since January!

Endings and Beginnings

2010-01-04T12:49:00.002-06:00

So you think if I make known to the blogger world my goals for the upcoming year, I might actually have more success. Millions (Ha! In my dreams) of hidden accountable eyes would likely be a motivator, right? Imagine looking up in the grocery store and wondering if the woman staring at you notices that you just put in your cart the supersize 72 count mini creme puffs, which you adamantly vowed to all your readers that it was number one on the DO NOT TOUCH, LOOK AT, OOGLE OR LUST AFTER IN 2010; or is she staring at the unwashed sweats and hot pink cap covering the "I haven't taken a shower in two days" hair and wondering what would ever make anyone leave their home in THAT condition? Either way, accountability can be a good thing, right?

So here is the "I promise to myself to do" list for 2010

1. Make sure that the last six months of the baby's life under the wings of his parents are actually memorable and healthy ones, despite the fact that he is a 17-year-old hormonal, sometimes insecure, sometimes overconfident, most of the time knows everything about anything, teenager and cant decide if he wants to be 18 or 12.

2. Plan for months 7 through 12 - which means:
A. Getting a passport for the first time in my life and not caring if I loose 20, 30, 40 even 80 pounds before I have the picture taken;

B. Growing my hair long - okay longer, than the short-short crop that I always have had just cause it was easy and quick and no fuss. I have time now, right?

3. Vacation in the middle of the school year!

4. A spur of the moment trip to Canada, just cause I have a passport and want to use it!

5. Not feeling bad that I am going to go to Europe without my children! My oldest declared that it was not fair, she had never been to Europe either. I promptly informed her that since I had to wait 47 years to accomplish that feat, I was not going to feel the least bit guilty if she had to wait beyond her 21st birthday! I did not even dignify the 17-year-olds moans of unfairness with an acknowledgement that he had even spoken!

Since the new year needs to be about personal improvement, here is the "I Promise To Be Better At" list:

1. Try to find time everyday to do something for someone else who does not expect me to do something for them. (That excludes all immediate family members).

2. Read as much 19th Century English literature I can get my hands on.

3. Improve my conversational French skills, so that I can speak fluently in French with my visiting teaching companion.

4. Keep up with Old Testament GD class this year and pulling out my old Hebrew and refreshing my brain, so its not all lost forever.

5. Be a more diligent patient and following the guidelines set by my docs, cause they actually have been working!!

6. Finally, limiting my eye rolling when my 17-year-old declares he is getting "so old".

So, if any of you see me in the grocery store and I have that 72 count frozen crème puffs, stop me
and remind me of #5.

The Ever-Encroaching Empty Nester Syndrome

2009-12-31T10:07:00.008-06:00

I was asked just yesterday by my cousin how I was handling my baby graduating from school in June and all the kids being far enough away to not having someone pop in every day. A year ago I would have immediately responded with tears and a "I cant talk about"; however, yesterday was different. I paused. I had such mixed feelings. I still have some of the emotion there, but there is also an excitment and heaven forbid I should communicate that to anyone!

I read the Daily Mail online daily and came across this great article in the Femail section. Nicci Gerrard, a bestselling British author, at the same point in life as I am now, summed it all up perfectly. Why try to rewrite the already well-written! Thanks Nicci!

Bestselling author Nicci Gerrard, 51, lives in Suffolk with her husband and co-writer Sean French. She has four children, Edgar, 22, Anna, 21, Hadley, 18, and Molly, 16.

Nicci Gerrard found it difficult to cope when her children left home.
Sometimes, in a shop or on the street, I hear a child's voice piping up 'Mummy!' and I turn around with a lurch of the heart, thinking they are calling out for me.   But, of course, they aren't. I'm 51 - and that time has gone.

Ten years ago, at the start of the new millennium, I worked full-time on a newspaper, wrote novels with my husband and had four children aged between six and 12 for whom I tried (and failed) to be the perfect mother - juggling work assignments, writing stories in the early hours, racing home to attend parents' evenings, school concerts, doctor's appointments, end-of-term assemblies.

It was a time of constant exhaustion (I used to fall asleep in the bath, while being driven in the car, on the train, in the theatre, at meals); a time of guilt (baking cakes in the middle of the night to prove I was a 'proper' mother, weeping over my children's milestones that I'd missed); of intense physical closeness (the sticky hand clutching mine, the hot body wedged between ours in bed, squabbling round the dinner table, squashing into the car); of grumpiness, anxiety.

And vivid happiness. I would often long for time to myself, be it mornings in bed or baths without someone hammering at the door - but I wouldn't have traded a single second of those breathless days of mayhem and the rowdy, botched imperative of love.

Now three of my four children are at university. One by one, the eldest have gone, leaving behind empty bedrooms, unaccustomed tidiness and a strange silence.   Yes, they return with bags of laundry, but it's not the same - and it hits me hard.

Soon, the youngest will also be gone. A few weeks ago, she said cheerily: 'How will you feel when there's no one left to wave goodbye in the morning?'   And as if someone had pressed a button, I started to weep, ridiculous snorting sobs that I couldn't control.

It's not just about missing them - which, of course, I do - but the realization that a certain part of my life is over and can never come again.   Their childhood is finished: Was it good enough? Did I do OK? Who am I now? What am I for?

Enough. I would hate to be one of those guilt-inducing wistful mothers waiting for their children's visits.

So here's my pledge for the next decade: I'm going to turn my loss (of children, teeth, youth and prospects) into my gain.   I'm going to have adventures, set myself challenges, learn languages, grow chillies, live abroad - do all the things I haven't had time for.

I'm going to turn an ending into a beginning.

Temple Excursion #1

2009-12-10T19:19:00.001-06:00

How Beautiful is the Temple! On 12/05/09 we set out for the Chicago Temple with great friends, for Tom's first visit! For a woman who always has enough words to more than express many a situation, I have been completely wordless. Not thoughtless, wordless. It is so hard to describe the experience, its uniqueness, its power, its beauty and all that comes to mind is "pure joy".

After a 15 year absence for myself, it felt wondeful coming home, especially with those who share the moment with us.

An experience such as what we all had, bonded already strong friendships, strengthened new ones and was the perfect prep for temple excursion #2, which is all about our family! I feel so blessed in my life! I am so grateful!

At This Festive Season...

2009-11-22T19:18:00.002-06:00

Tom and I have spent a few days listening to the unabridged audio version of Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol". There is a point early in the novel, where Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by some gentleman, receiving donations for charities for the poor. The section goes like this:

'At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,' said the gentleman, taking up a pen, 'it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.'
'Are there no prisons?' asked Scrooge.
'Plenty of prisons,' said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.
'And the Union workhouses.' demanded Scrooge. 'Are they till in operation?'
'They are. Still,' returned the gentleman,' I wish I could say they were not.'
'The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?' said Scrooge.
'Both very busy, sir.'
'Oh. I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course,' said Scrooge. 'I'm very glad to hear it.'
'Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude,' returned the gentleman, 'a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?'
'Nothing!' Scrooge replied.
'You wish to be anonymous?'
'I wish to be left alone,' said Scrooge. 'Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned-they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there.'
'Many can't go there; and many would rather die.'
'If they would rather die,' said Scrooge, 'they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

So what do you ask, does this have to do with anything? Well, you see, I was reading an article about the recent health care bill, the antis, the rhetoric being spout of "death panels", etc. I recently saw a report on the one-day free clinics circuiting American cities and the hard working poor, middle-class who have had to go without, to the extent that their health is declining because of lack of regular care, etc. etc. We have heard horror story, after horror story and have personally, in our own family, witnessed how when health insurance was not available, medicines were too expensive to purchase, that health fails and yet how quickly it can rebound and the quality of one's life changes exponentially with necessary prescription medications and regular check ups. I kept hearing the same line over and over in my head.

"If they would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.".

We are there. We are in a place, where we are arguing over who we think has the right to live or to die. We have become so greedy, so callous, so insensitive and so selfish that we cannot offer another help, open our pockets, our wallets, our hearts to offer the compassion necessary to give an individual one of the most basic rights of all, health care.

The compassionate gentleman in Dickens Story states, "Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."

What is said in Scrooge's response seems too generous to what we now even wish to offer. He asks if there are prisons and workhouses in operation. Suggesting that those in need should be isolated to institutions and separated, sentenced to a life of dread and sorrow, treated as a criminal and degenerate. That’s a good offer compared to what we now offer. Nothing. No health insurance, medicines too expensive, treatment too expensive, what do we have to offer, but suffering, sorrow, pain and in some cases, even death. But that's okay! The arguments really make me incredibly sad and seem so pathetic and most come down to an insurance company having the right to determine their level of risk to ensure that their bottom line is adequate and their profits sufficient to satisfy their greed.

I do not think we have learned much in the past 200 years.

What we do want to communicate is that while our government is failing in its charge to care for its people, we the people can become more generous, more loving, more helpful, more full of true Christian charity and shower those in need with the help, assistance and support that is needed.

At this festive season, may we all remember The One example of true Charity, and may His image be reflected in our countenance.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

The Temple is in clear sight!

2009-10-05T19:21:00.003-05:00

Its already October! As I sit here typing, I notice the yellow, orange, brown of the leaves. Beautiful, but I have a lot of trees - so it means raking. I have discovered the blower is good for something other than cut grass on the sidewalk! Yipee! I do not think the City is happy when the leaves end up in the gutter (by accident of the powerful stream of air emanating from the blower and my very imprecise aiming ability to keep the leaves on the easement! - so NOT intentional!)

General conference was this weekend. I love general conference. The talks are as varied as the speakers giving them. We hear talks I think must have been written and spoken specifically for me; Then there are the talks (Like Elder Holland's) where I quietly cheer in my head, praising the Lord for giving that man the courage to say what he means, mean what he says and not be afraid of who or what will respond.

This conference, however, seemed to be focused on making sure our hearts have experienced the "mighty change" and that our lives truly reflect that change, making it clear to all in the world, who we are and where we stand in our faith.

My husband has been the greatest example to me lately of just that principle. No matter how much he has appeared to have "lost", the changes in him have surely been mighty. He holds onto that faith, so unwaveringly, even when confronted with what could easily knock the strongest of us down. He stands tall and presses forward.

We are down to the last "leg" of the race, before we head off to the temple to be sealed as a couple. This is such an exciting time for us. Sort of feels like we are getting married, all over again, only this time, in the right place and making eternal vows. I am certainly learning patience and learning how to surrender to my Father's will for me.

So, in order to remain patient and not get too anxious, wired up or crazy, I am just keeping busy. Work helps, projects help, helping others certainly helps a lot, but what helps the most is the day to day stuff with Tom, the kids and just focusing on them, our family relationships and just trying to be the best me, wife, mom, that I can be. That certainly takes up more than enough time in one day. I just get lost in my family and those things that matter most. Well, not having a count-down counter on my facebook helps a lot too!

We've rounded the corner and the stadium is in sight.

Homecomings and the Beginning of the Best Years...

2009-08-12T19:12:00.004-05:00

Words cannot express what a wonderful experience it was to meet some of our returning missionaries, as they came home from their mission. But even more so, to be at the homecoming of Elder Horrocks. I think "way sweet" comes close. Our love for him and his family is immeasurable. It is clear to see why he was the missionary he was and why he is now the man he is. We love him dearly.

Jeremiah's Birthday Present

2009-08-02T12:52:00.005-05:00

So he waited patiently for his present and, well,

It became a family affair.

We are having way too much fun with this thing!

Father's Day

2009-08-02T12:41:00.002-05:00

A little out of order - but here none the less -

Spent it with Doyle, Cyndi and Dave and his family. It was a lovely day with family and a nice photo of the occasion to boot! Can you tell I have started to dabble in cake decorating - my first real attempt and my family doesnt seem to mind being the guinea pigs! (ooo - that could have a mean connotation to it )

Jeremiah's Birthday

2009-08-02T12:36:00.004-05:00

Yes - June seems to be the month of birthdays (August and November are that way too!!)

So J's was more a happy day dinner..... Freaked him out with the cake.....

The tradition goes - you get your favorite food for your dinner and he has always picked in the past spaghetti and meatballs - well this time he picked Chicken Parmesean - so I gave him both, Chicken Parm for dinner and spaghetti and meatballs for dessert. It took him about 2 minutes to figure out what was going on! PRICELESS!

Tom's Birthday - Part 2

2009-08-02T12:22:00.006-05:00

So when he thought that he had the surprise and nothing else was to follow - we hit him with a second surprise the next day with all the family.... It was great!

It was all a secret too - as we celebrated his nephew Kevin's birthday as well. We just love surprises around here!

There, of course, was more family and Tom shenanigans - although this picture of Tom has to be one of my favorites!

Tom's First Birthday - Part 1

2009-08-01T16:03:00.012-05:00

So for those of you who dont know, Tom had never had a birthday party until this year. We threw him a suprise part to boot and boy, what a surprise it was. Occasions like this truly are once in a lifetime and he enjoyed every moment! The rest of his birthdays I am sure will have much less to-do...but it was a great ta-dah moment!

It's that time of year

2009-04-30T18:44:00.005-05:00

My kids are going to laugh when they see this post, but heck, who cares.

IT'S COUNT DOWN TO DRUM CORPS! I am such a closet fan! I look forward every summer to June and Drums On Parade. I have been a supporter and fan of Madison Scouts Drum and Bugle Corps since I was in high school and several of our marching band members were scouts!

Its great music of course, but there is something so uplifting in watching the hard work and dedication of young people. These kids put their heart and soul into something so positive and so enriching. How can I not be in support of that! My kids will also tell you that I tried with all three of them to get them to join, but it never worked out. That's okay. We love it as a family and its one of those traditions that we will be sharing with our grandchildren one day.

If you get a chance, go support your local drum corps. Tickets to local events are usually pretty affordable and every penny goes to support drum corps.

Here's the link for Madison's Oldest Drum Corps event:

http://www.drumsonparade.com/

Not from Madison? Visit http://www.dci.org/ and find your areas drum corps! Enjoy some music this summer. I know we will!

NOV 29 2008 - TOM's BAPTISM

2009-04-09T08:26:00.013-05:00

Finally, pictures up from Tom's baptism. We waited to post until all family members had been told before we put them up. It has been a bittersweet couple of weeks. daily, we see the blessings of being a house united, working toward common goals and pray daily that the Spirit will bear witness to those we love who are having a difficult time understanding. I truly believe that in time, the changes in Tom, in our family, will be the strongest witness of all. I had written the post a few days afterward and held onto it. So here it is...

I had the best birthday present a girl could ever have this year. Tom was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Frankly, I had rarely even contemplated such an event. It never seemed possible. I was content with both of us worshipping separately, but still strong, practicing Christians. However, when Tom reached his own crisis of faith this summer, we both knew something had to change. The change would not be for me, for us, but for him.

Over the last 4 months I have watched him struggle, persevere and overcome so many obstacles that have for years, prevented him from seeing himself as our Heavenly Father sees him. He tackled each obstacle with fervor and determination. He never gave up, never turned back, never gage in. My accounting of his journey seems to pale in comparison as to when he bears his own witness. I will refrain from doing that here and let him write and post himself. I can say that there has never been more peace, more joy, more happiness than I have ever seen Tom, let alone our family, possess. I think the pictures sing that song quite well! A few years ago I started praying that the joy and happiness we had in the beginning would return. My prayers today were answered 100 fold. I have/we have never felt happiness such as this!

A heartfelt thank you to all his "angels", who selflessly gave of themselves; who shared their testimony of the gospel by their actions of love and friendship. Our gratitude is eternal, as well as our love for all of you.

Addendum, four months after I wrote the above, those words could not be more true or accurate. I have often said throughout the past 8 months, I feel like I am in a constant "pinch-me" mode. I have resigned myself to idea that I will always be in a "pinch-me" place!

Chicago and a temple preview

2009-03-19T18:28:00.010-05:00

Tom and I were so lucky last weekend. We went to Kenosha, picked up a special Elder and his companion and got to shuttle them to the temple for the Hale sealing.

What a trip! It was wonderful, since both Elder Thomas and Elder Horrocks were there. It was Tom's first visit to the temple and it was a beautiful experience. A nice preview for our families trip in December! To see the joy of the Hale's and all of their friends and church family was so uplifting and encouraging. We felt so blessed to be able to be a part of things.

Elder Thomas is a short-timer now. Only a few weeks til he heads home.

Elder Horrocks has a few more months (AUG), but we are all definitely looking forward to reconnecting this summer!

We are so proud of them!

The musical

2009-03-19T18:19:00.003-05:00

Its done and Jeremiah is in withdrawl. He did so well and it was quite the production. I was especially tickled that he had a chance to work with my director from my first high school production over 34 years ago. How is that for scarry. Mr "C" as they call him (Cerutti) was the best. His apples hasnt fallen far from the mother tree!

The Trip to Bountiful...or should I say Provo

2009-01-24T20:18:00.004-06:00

Tom and Kaitlynn's trip out west was almost a month ago. Slow getting the photos out, but I no longer have the luxury of working from home. I must now venture from my home office, and of all times to start a commute, in the frigid cold. Remind me why we are in Wisconsin? I am quickly forgetting! Their trip was a wonderful experience for them both. I am so proud of her right now. As time passes, the calls become less frequent, which means she is doing well. For all who follow, stay tuned to the March CES Fireside. Her Institute choir is singing and Elder Bednar is speaking. She/we are excited. I know to some that's just normal, but for us and for her, its just another way of reminding us she is in the right place and doing the right thing.

I am so glad that both Tom and Katy shared the journey together. What a memory they will have for a lifetime.

As a side note, right after the trip out west, we said our final goodbyes to our "adopted" Elder Thomas. The cycle is complete and we are all onto the next cycle. Its been an adjustment, but they both/all remain in our hearts and our prayers. They certainly shall not be forgotten and will always be with us! Our lives are forever changed by their love, their dedication and their service to their Father in Heaven!

The Butterfly is Free...

2009-01-04T15:19:00.004-06:00

The first was second and now there is only one left. This butterfly is free from her cocoon and flitting away for a season. Can I flit away too? I have always been a gypsy at heart, waiting for the winds to blow and tell when it is time to leave. This time, however, I am staying and they are leaving.

I am excited for Kaitlynn. She has an adventure unfolding. Dreams to work toward, experiences to have, new people to meet. She just called and they are near the Wyoming/Utah border. She feels the way about mountains that I feel about the ocean. There is something comforting and awe-inspiring about them. They are bigger and grander than you could ever possibly be and they are humbling. Its her adventure and now I can live vicariously through her, until that is, we start out on our own in 18 months.

Yes, 18 months til the last butterfly flies off. (I think he is in the cocoon stage right now, if you ask me!) Then its a new season of life for Tom and I . We were just reflecting about not having ever had a chance to "date" and be alone in our married life. We dated with children, we married with children. So in a short time, we get our time together. I do say, for as hard as it is watching them leave, in the back of my mind I keep thinking, wow, we wont have to plan vacations around school breaks anymore, will we??? We can just pick up and go for a long weekend without worrying who was going to have to get where when? I can get used to that!

Mommy Mush Christmas 2008

2008-12-26T20:28:00.004-06:00

I dont think a mom could get a better Christmas present that this. First thing Christmas morning they handed me my stocking. It had four packs of Kleenex in it. I knew it wasnt good! Then they put the DVD into the player and turned it on. I love my kids! Nicole was the mastermind and did so much work on it! I think I am good for presents for several years now!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-20T07:52:00.003-06:00

Tom is back into movie making and this is a shortie with the family. He took our little coolpix movie clips and put this together. Its corny, I know, but I love stuff like this!

Food Blog

2008-12-17T06:46:00.005-06:00

So we are putting all the recipes (and will be adding more) at:

http://notjustaboutthefood.blogspot.com/

We will add recipes every day and included with the recipes will be suggestions on making the recipes smaller, cheaper, healthier or maybe even a bit "upscale". But more importantly, its about sharing the stories and traditions surrounding the recipe than it is about the food itself!

Come join us!

Our Mad2 Youth

2008-12-09T12:05:00.008-06:00

We highly recommend that all you parents of YM/YW taken the time and volunteer to chaperone one of their Stake dances. We had a blast! It brough back so many of our own memories of youth/stake dances AND we thoroughly enjoyed watching our youth have fun in each other's company. We even had a few moments to cut up the rug ourselves and not look like old foggies. I dont think Jeremiah minded us being there either. Try it! It makes for a great date night! Way to go Mad2 youth!

The "BIG" Event...

2008-12-09T12:02:00.003-06:00

So some of you are wondering where the post is about Tom's Big Event? Its coming. We are compiling some photos and he is writing his thoughts. Stay Tuned! There is much more to come.

Deck the Halls

2008-12-09T11:42:00.011-06:00

Last night for Family Home Evening we spent the night decorating the tree. Our new missionary, Elder Godfrey was quite intrigued by our collection of snowmen ornaments! We had a grand time and Elder Thomas, as usual, was able to find a gospel application for the event.

Since my role this year was mainly as "producer", it was a joy to watch everyone participating and having such a nice time, relating to each other and sharing in the joy of togetherness. Tom captured some video footage that he is going to put together in a piece and post here this week. It was nice to have him share this year as well and lend his talents to preserving some great family memories.

So the season is off and running. While the world around us is in a bit of turmoil and we too, are experiencing some of that chaos and uncertainty, we are at peace in knowing that our Heavenly Father will care for us and that our rest is in the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. May you all feel that peace in your homes and in your hearts.

Laughing til we cried or ....

2008-11-04T13:49:00.010-06:00

Laughter is so incredibly underestimated. Laughter is so incredibly needed by all of us. I mean, the honest, laugh so hard your stomach hurts and everyone around you cant tell if you are still laughing or have started crying (and at my age, could result in multiple forms of "crying").

We had laughter like that last night. It came from a spontaneous moment during Family Home Evening. I cant even try to explain what was said and done that culminated in this outburst, it gets lost in translation; but needless to say, just the thought of the moment, brings this smile to my face and a giggle under my breath. When you have a chance, ask any one of us what Kaitlynn meant when she said "I dont want to die". I guarantee that all, including the Elders, will get have a big smile on their face and start chuckling and then really wont be able to answer the question. I know you all have one of those moments.

My day today, as has been the week so far, is rather tense and full of ups and downs. I remembered Elder Wirthlin's talk from conference. I remember last night and come what may, we'll love it.

Change is coming - Wait, change is here!

2008-10-15T11:46:00.004-05:00

We are halfway through October already. My front porch, yard, pond, driveway, walkway are completely covered in leaves. I love the color of leaves, although I am not fond of raking them. I have this philosophy…why keep raking when more are going to fall? Why not just wait till they have all dropped and then rake? Makes sense, right? Although tracking leaves into my house is not a good thing. It looks messy too and I do not think my neighbors appreciate my attitude. I need a farm, or better yet a ranch. We were online looking for potential places for Kaitlynn to live when she heads out west this winter. I found this ranch, by accident. Room for 7 horses. Tom and Kaitlynn thought Alpacas would be better. I said ONE HORSE please. I laughed. We were actually having a dialogue about moving to a ranch out west. How very odd is that. The mountains are very inviting. Tom and I both agree that if we cant be near ocean, mountains are the best alternative. I guess I am restless or just feeling that we wont be here forever. Maybe a bit of both.

Change is the constant in my life right now. Change in our home. Change in our family composition. Change in our day to day activities. Changes the kids are each going through. Change in our community. Change in the weather. Change in the political climate. Change in the economic climate. Constant change. I used to think I thrived on change, but not so anymore. I think I still try and adapt well; that military "bloom where your planted" approach. I do look at Jeremiah and know for sure that he will keep us stable and here for another 18 or so months.

After that, I cant even imagine what will happen or where we will end up.

Moroni's Fortresses.... I am not sure this is quite what they looked like

2008-09-30T10:14:00.010-05:00

A more detailed blog will follow, written by our family patriarch, which will take into account the spiritual and comical rendition of last night's FHE.... But I had to post a few of these pics!

Pull out your Book of Mormon and read Alma 50.... can you see it???

HUNTER, NINJA, BEAR

2008-09-25T15:14:00.006-05:00

A diplomatic way to decide who gets to go first! I think this video speaks for itself.

Additional photos of our "adopted" boys.

Summer 2008 - Where Did it Go?

2008-09-25T14:41:00.011-05:00

The summer got away from us, as it seems life can, when we are not paying close attention. We have battled everything from Japanese Beetles to another layoff for Tom and a major refocus of our spiritual and family life. Right before school restarted we decided to cap the summer off with a trip to Nauvoo, Tom, Jeremiah and I. It was the last week of August and much of the summer programs were done; however, what was nice was that wherever we went, we were basically the only ones. That made for a very intimate and special experience with many of the senior Missionaries. Tom and I even found time alone to walk the temple grounds and down by the riverside at sunset. It was a trip we all needed.

Tom was impressed with the resourcefulness and diverse talents of Brigham Young. He enjoyed the Blacksmith Shop and the wonderful Elder who also had the most memorable role in Rendezvous at Old Nauvoo.

The Family Living Center was a place we all enjoyed. Tom's personal family history includes a great-great-grandfather that was a cooper, so being able to see how a barrels were made, was a very personal connection. I put the rope that Tom and Jeremiah made up on a hook in the kitchen to remind us of the impromptu lesson that another special Elder shared about family, marriage and most importantly, eternal marriage.

But frankly, my favorite part was watching Tom and Jeremiah stick wrestle, only Jeremiah would "cheat" and let go of the stick every time Tom started pulling him up off the ground!

Since school has started, life is busy again, but we are still trying to keep the momentum going that started in Old Nauvoo. Maybe next summer we will get to upstate New York!

All Things Elderkin

2008-08-13T23:10:00.008-05:00

I wont ever say that all the genealogy on any one particular line of a family is complete. I have to give kudos to my Aunt Jacqueline. She has uncovered and shared so much of our Elderkin Family History over the years and I have felt blessed to be the recipient lately of all her hard work. In sharing and relating stories, discoveries and tidbits of information, many missing paragraphs of our recent family history have been filled in. I had a chance to sit with my sister this last month, pouring over old family photos and remembering the events that accompanied them. I was given an insight into my mother that I wish I would have had even just a few years ago. My Aunt and I also shared our thoughts about some particularly "randy" events of my grandfather in his youth, after which I had an epiphany. What in my own life, have I not shared, good/bad/ugly/frightening/sorrowful, that may provide an opportunity for my children or one day their children, to learn from my actions. And with perfect timing as always, here comes Sunday School and Alma Chpts 36-39, Alma's letters to his sons. What does he share, his testimony, his mistakes, and gives each one his counsel regarding those lessons learned, those experiences that maybe many of us would not share (For reasons of shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, regret… the list could go on).

What courage Alma had. What insight as a parent, to be so honest. To share his testimony, his faith and do it in a way that had power and meaning with his own example.

My grandfather taught me many things just by the type of man he was. I knew him as a grandfather and not the young, restless man of his youth. I remember his music, his sheepish grin and the twinkle in his eyes; the smell of his pipe. I remember his stories. He could weave a yard like no-other. His patience in putting me on a horse for the first time, walking the farm lands and telling the tales of a life more simple. He passed on to me a generational love for this family he/WE had come from.

When sitting with my great-grandmother (a teacher who lived to be a centenarian and until the age of 101, remembered my birthday with a card every year), listening to her tales of life and family, I saw my grandfather's heritage. I saw the people who I came from and who wanted to continue to pass on their love of family and all things Elderkin.

The name of Heller is typed onto the papers of my birth certificate, but I carry the name of Elderkin in my genes, in my passions, in my perspectives and in my heart.

Patience

2008-07-23T00:10:00.002-05:00

Patience seems to be the predominant lesson for our entire family. The most obvious area of patience is with me, not just my being patient while "they" (the myriad of doctors and professionals) try and figure out what is causing so much pain, but also being more patient with my children and husband; with my children and husband being more patient with me, a grumpy mother who doesnt like being limited in any way imaginable; with Jeremiah learning patience with himself; Nicole having patience in begining her new season of life as she very shortly ventures off into the world; again, all of us seem to be learning patience.

I seem to be awfully testy lately. Not just with my back, but with presidential candidates; with the media who think I am more interested in Lindsey Lohan than the state of health care in the U.S.; with the unknown neighbor who is stealing my little pond gnomes; with the gnats buzzing around my doors cause I live closer to the lake; you name it, I seem to be annoyed with it. I thought, shoot, why is all of this bugging me! (sorry, no pun intended toward the gnats!)

Patience, yup, I have none, but more importantly, I have no peace. No peace in the moment. I am not being present. Okay, so you say, its kinda hard right now to not be frustrated. Gas is $4 a gallon, food prices are through the roof, we all know someone who is loosing their home, have lost their job; life looks pretty bleak. My back hurts! I cant do what I want to do, so we have a right to be testy, to be irritated, to be worried, to be impatient. We want things to change and we want them to change now. Then I asked myself, where is this getting me? I only get more frustrated, more angry, more restless, more irritated. Great. That's good. Makes for a lovely family environment (sarcasim there people). It gets me, it gets us nowhere.

What is this thing called patience? What is it that causes us to need to learn to be patient? What are we fighting against when we are fighting patience? I have thought a lot about that these last two weeks. For me, for my family and I think maybe for us all, when we are confined, limited, when we dont have access, cant control, feel helpless, we become impatient, frustrated. We want to change things and we cant. I have honed in on feeling confined, limited, frustrated and not in control. I want to change the circumstances now, but I cant. What have I not been doing, finding peace in being present in the moment. Wow, that sounds a tad bit like "patience".

What if I started being present, being peaceful. That old mantra of "the power of positive thinking". What would that look like? As for my back, well, pain meds are a good thing! They actually help. Politics, I have a choice, I have a voice. The man stealing my gnomes, I bought some more ($1.00 Walgreen ones) and am going to put a sign that says take these, the others are now bolted down! I look at my kids and think, you have the world at your feet, hurray, and so many choices. I have a job and one that I can even work at with the health problems I have. The hubby has a job for now and if not later, the skill to get a job and not be out of work. But most importantly, my faith. I have my faith. I know that I have been taken care of before, I have always been taken care of and I will continue to be taken care of, that WE will be taken care of. I remember that how He takes care of me has always been better than how I have taken care of myself.

SPAETZLE

2008-07-16T23:49:00.005-05:00

Spaetzle is a staple in most German households, but in spite of my heavy German heritage, I did not learn to make spaetzle from my mother or grandmother, but from Eugenie Mayer Bolz. Mrs. Bolz was the granddaughter of Oscar Mayer. I was fortunate enough to spend a summer working for her as her live-in companion. I learned a tremendous amount from that amazing woman, not just about food, meats, but about her family, her history and her traditions. I later adapted this recipe, after trying spaetzle from a variety of wonderful cooks. This has become a staple in my home, with my children and I know will be passed on for generations.

2 cups of flour
4 eggs
2 t salt
8 T sour cream
Whole milk to thin out batter

Sift flour and salt. Lightly beat eggs and add to flour
mixture. Add sour cream and mix until incorporated. Add milk until
batter is the consistency of sticky dough.

Use a spaetzle maker to add to pot of boiling, salted water. Cook until noodles float to top. Drain. Heat nonstick frying pan. Add 2-3 tablespoons of butter. When butter is brown, add cooked/drained spaetzle. Fry until lightly brown, about 2 minutes. Serve immediately.
Can add noodle dough to soups as dumplings as well.

IDEAS
Add your favorite herbs to the batter. Thyme, rosemary, basil, then tossed in olive oil make a wonderful noodle served with lamb. Pesto is another great addition. Experiment! It is a versatile noodle that will inspire your creativity!

Recipe of the week

2008-07-09T15:01:00.013-05:00

Food or the sharing of food is a big part of our family. It is a major component in family tradition. Not that the food is the tradition, but the tradition somehow seems to conjure up memories of a particular food. My mom was a "foodie" before the term even came into existence. One of my fondest memories as a young girl/teen was helping my mother bake 12 loaves of bread a week for our family. She would do it on Fridays and the baking would go well into the evening. I started at about 7 years old, greasing all the bread pans and collecting all the ingredients. I eventually graduated to mixing the flour and finally got to turn out the dough and mix by hand. I remember the first time I got my hands into the dough. There was something amazingly therapeutic about mixing and kneading dough by hand. To this day, even with the invention of bread makers and mixers that knead, I still prefer to do it all by hand. What was my favorite part, no matter how old I got, was buttering all the tops of the loaves after they came out of the oven; and of course, since I helped from beginning to end, I got the first piece, cut while it was still warm, with butter melting on the tops and running down the slice! I think that's where I developed my addiction to carbs! It is not so much the act of making the bread that stands out in my mind, but the interaction with my mom. We had a large family and one-on-one moments were rare, but this was my moment. I remember her stories, rememberances of her mom and her grandmother; making bread, milking the cows; stories of her sisters and life on a farm. I wouldn't have heard those stories, had those memories to treasure, if it didn't involve the "chore" of making bread.

With my mother gone now for almost 5 years, my children and I really cherish those memories. She lives on in the messy pages of her pie cookbook, the one where the binding is literally in shreds and now sits in a Ziploc bag to hold it together; or the handwritten notes on the pages of her favorite cookbook, where she changed ingredients or even left notes in the corners to "remember" what worked or didnt work with the recipe. She was famous for her lemon meringue pie, with the meringue sometimes as high as 4" and perfectly brown. The lemon custard was sweet, but not overpowering. I still have yet to try it on my own, but I think this is the weekend I will finally do it.

Every week we will post a recipe, a family recipe. One of those recipes you make, that your mother made and her mother made. Today, in honor of Mom, we'll start with the lemon meringue pie. Enjoy!

Best-Ever Lemon Meringue Pie

Baked 9" shell

1-1/2 c sugar

1-1/3 c water

1/2 t salt

1/2 c cornstarch

1/3 c water

4 egg yolks, slightly beaten

1/2 c lemon juice

3 T butter

1 t grated lemon peel

4 egg whites

1/4 t salt

1/2 c sugar

Combine sugar, 1-1/2 c water and salt in saucepan. Heat to boiling.

Mix cornstarch and 1/3 c water to make smooth paste; add to boiling mixture gradually, stirring constantly; cook until thick and clear. Remove from heat.

Combine egg yolks and lemon juice; stir into thickened mixture. Return to heat and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture bubbles again. Remove from heat. Stir in butter and lemon peel. Cover and cool until lukewarm.

For meringue: Add salt to egg white; beat until frothy. Gradually add 1/2 c sugar, beating until glossy peaks are formed. Stir 2 rounded tbs of meringue into lukewarm filling.

Pour filling into cool pie shell. Pile remaining meringue on top and spread lightly over filling, spreading evenly to edge of crust.

Bake in slow oven (325 degrees F) about 15 minutes, or until lightly browned. Cool on rack at least 1 hour before cutting.

Starting in the Middle

2008-07-08T14:05:00.001-05:00

So we have succomed. Given in. No longer have we resisted the blogger world. With Nicole going away to school this fall and friends and family being scattered literally, around the world, its almost like its become a necessity. Besides, both Tom and I like to write, upload photos, connect with people, so why resist the obvious!

NICOLE GRADUATED! The middle child is now half-way out the door! She has worked hard and overcome much. We are incredibly proud of her. She leaves for Viterbo University in August. As I watch her get ready, I cant help but to go back 30 years. That excitment of finally feeling like everyone will treat you like an adult, being able to make all your own decisions, having this entire life ahead of you that you can create.

They all are growing up. Jeremiah will be the only one at home this fall. Its quiet a lot. I have more time for all those things I love. It feels strange, almost selfish. Tom and I are home alone more nights than we have kids at home. I am sure I will get used to it. No, I know I will get used to it!

So we move into a new season of life. Lots of unknowns and lots of can-do's. Sort of like what Nicole is looking ahead to. Gee, I guess change isnt so bad after all. The things we get to learn from our children!